This term we have been looking at ways to make our writing more interesting for the reader.
We have used the folllowing criteria to guide us:
- Changing the word order of a sentence
- Using literary devices such as metaphor, simile, alliteration, onomatopoeia and personification
- Using specific verbs and adjectives
- Using show, don’t tell techniques
- Using different sentence beginnings and lengths
Here are some examples of my writing this term.
Show Don’t Tell - Emotions
Joy:
I jumped up and down as I skipped in a circle as I screamed with a huge smile on my face from ear to ear.
Angry:
I stomped my feet as I got woken up at one in the morning! I punched the pillow as my face turned bright red.Then my brother was RACING HIS CAR IN MY ROOM AGAIN AAAAHHHH!!!!
Fear:
I walked through the haunted house but then from above a drip of boiling water dropped on my head.I screamed AAAAHHHH.Someone was upstairs it was a zombie.I went purple and white as I jumped into my Mum’s arms.·
The Bully
Hi I am Kayla my smile is huge, cheeks are pink as I jump up and down in excitement for the assembly. Feather is my best friend and a year older than me.As I entered the hall everyone stared and whispered. Teacher Tansy shouted red faced at everyone. QUIET!!I run out, I run for miles. I find myself in a street where not very nice people were, my face was bright red.Feather was running after me. LEAVE ME ALONE NOW!! I shouted.I was running because people were making rumours about me and stared at me.The teacher comes after me and says she has talked to them, that it will be ok. I walk like a gorilla heading back into the gym.I have my head down looking at my feet, I shuffle my feet along.Assembly went great I got a prize, as the weeks went on no one made me feel bad. The rumours stopped my life was back to old times.
Death Chase
Music Writing
The princess demolished her cake in her humongous tower in the depths of the dark green forest.
The princess demolished her cake in her humongous tower in the depths of the dark green forest.
I’m late I run as fast as I can, then I hear a foot step behind me, I look over my shoulder nervously, someone is following me, you might not know, but I am spy and the evil dwarfs are after me.
I sprint to the show and start to perform but I see a dwarf on the stage performing with me.I had to run as fast as I could but there were too many.I ran to my hidden tower where my parents are.
I work for the government my sisters Dianne, Anna are spies too we work as a team because we are triplets and are only 15. I am Layla.We have been spies for 5 years we are the best of spies in the world.
Dylz and Bella are the best parents and spies in the world. They are both 35 years old.A man kidnapped me but I did not know how it was until they came to see me and then I was like OMG it was our evil brother Eleion.Who wanted to be King but could never be but let's put it straight he is our half brother, who was just about killed but we all was save him man he’s been about killed probably 20 times.
Viking Girl
I have had it with these PEOPLE!!I stormed out of the playground I looked angry I had purple under my eyes.I had my hands on my hips ,my lips bucked.
Why does everyone hurt me.I screamed my head off and then sprinted to the teacher.How is this fare to me!! I slammed the door as I left.I cry and scream the whole way to the doctors my foot was broken. I screamed as a shock of pain swam throughout my blood.My face went purple I was going to faint.NO!!Darling wake up!!
By Kayla
